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Wednesday, 10 October 2012

Job: 21st to 28th September. Perthshire, Scotland.


Uhoh. My chocolate soufflé’s burnt. Fossilized, I should say. Such are the hazards of lodge cooking I suppose. Although I’ve not known a hiccup like this before (no, really). The thermostat went on the oven and what could I do????? It served as a doorstop all the next day.
But I’m puzzled. What’s going on? I’ve long been told I look young for my age, though I thought that was evening itself out – I’m 31 but on the whole thought to look 25ish. Not too bad. Now suddenly: “Naaaarr! Yur fifteeyan unnart a day oover.”(Norfolk accent) and no, it’s not just Norfolk. The party up here in Perthshire were mesmerized by what I’ve fitted in to what they imagined would be a short career so far. Not so short actually. It’s been 10 years since I left university (no, let’s be honest - ‘college’ – agricultural at that) and the ‘face down in a bucket of cider’ Neanderthals that went with it. Sorry, that’s harsh, they weren’t (all)…
Well! What can I say? It must be the all the fresh country air, liberty and lightheartedness. Though I tell you, being shut in a kitchen bellowing smoke from the “120°C? My arse!” oven will do nothing for youthful skin. My eyes are as red and tortured as a 120 year old’s just now.
Thank god for emergency cheese and biscuits – all Scottish, of course, Strathdon Blue and caboc from the (cringe cringe) House of Bruar and homemade oatcakes (some I made earlier).


So: For the next couple of weeks I’ll be more on the east side of Scotland, rather than the archipelago of the west where I spent August. Just now I’m in Glen Isla, Perthshire, where there’s a fishing party.
It’s a funny landscape. At least it is for someone who didn’t know what to expect and thinks of the highlands or islands when daydreaming Scotland. It’s hugely fertile and therefore agrarian but with preserved pockets of wildness. Glen Isla is I pretty mix of both. Primitive with pasture. I seek out and roam in the former. It’s bracing and wild. The wind not so much whistles as hollers over the heather and through the nobly fishbone larches and native pine. There are a few left over blaeberries, literally hanging-on, and a lonely harebell soundless but vigorously ringing in the wind. A feisty red squirrel clicks in a rage and flicks his tale at me. There are darting flocks of thrush family and many little coal tits and the high pitch, high up peeps of Goldcrests. I found a shaggy cauliflower fungus, sadly a little too old to be edible. There’s something so unspeakably ancient about scots pine forests, especially in this moody weather. Mary Webbs describes it perfectly:

“The floor of this place was deep with the leaves of many centuries, which had gathered with the thickening years till they muffled the footsteps. When Amber thought how the contemporaries of Harold Hardrada had probably walked in this very wood, under the trees which now were jagged stumps, and considered their fragile joys, their tiny grief’s, so huge to them, she shivered, feeling antiquity to be fearful – almost cynical.… For the forest tree keeps in her heart secrets of days long gone – days when the little bruit of man was drowned by the infinite grave forest murmur; when the trees spoke aloud the things that they now only whisper.”
‘The House in Dormer Forest’, Mary Webb, 1920.

I was slightly relieved when the rumbling roar below me turned out not to be a tyrannosaur but the infinitely more comforting sight of a Volvo estate complete with rod brackets, followed nose to bumper by a zooming gamekeeper aboard a filthy quad bike.
The storm’s about to break but that’s ok. I’m back in my little ‘car-base’ with BBC Gaelic and a jolly Celtic jig. I’m heading back to a homely kitchen, refreshed and ready to prepare a feast…


It was a great shame that a heavily pregnant hen salmon had to be landed and not returned to her watery home yesterday. No way will I allow the poor beauty’s roe to be wasted. I feel a duty to use every last little orange jewel, so I Google how to make caviar. Easy. And such a lovely looking jar of nibble potential. There’s a sweet deli in Beauly and in it they sell locally made crème fraiche. Along with some homemade Scotch pancakes all were eaten with laud and homage to the noble salmon.